Musings of a Butterfly

  The picture above was taken by a friend of mine six months ago, as we wait for our turn to board the cargo vessel that would bring us back to Cebu. I was 50 kilos then and would easily fit in my size 26 jeans. Today, I weigh 56 kilos and cannot close the button of my jeans. I have always been regarded as a petite girl. I’ve been underweight most of my life, maintained a 40-kilo weight all throughout college and then a range of 40-45 kilos for the first 3 years of med school. During clerkship, I somehow maintained 48 kilos for the first six months and then there was period that I lost weight and that was when my lupus started but as I gained control of my disease I maintained 50 kilos. I am well aware of the side effects of medication and it includes gain of appetite which eventually leads to weight gain. And it would have been nice if the weight I gained would deposit in the right places – boobs and butt 😂 – but no, my face is now rounder, my arms bigger, my neck wider, and my s...

  November 16, 2020 – today, I’m scheduled for a clinic visit with my rheumatologist, Dr. Miranda. Unlike the usual I woke up a bit later today at 4:32AM to be exact, probably because I stayed up later than usual to study for my 3PM exam today. But per usual, I rolled over a bit before finally getting out of bed at 4:38. Skipped my morning devotion to St. Clare and briefly decided on my outfit for the day and stepped into the bathroom to bath at 4:40. As I got out the bath at 4:57, Mama was already awake and was preparing herself as she told me she’d accompany me to church today. For almost a month now, I’ve been attending earliest daily mass. The earliest for the reason that I should avoid the harsh sunlight. We barely arrived on time for the 5:30 mass. The mass ended  after 45 minutes and Mama and I headed home. Papa was already preparing breakfast when we arrived. While waiting for breakfast, I logged into NowServing – an app that my doctor and I use to communicate and wher...

This year has indeed been quite a year. And out the 365 days, I spent 118 days in Tagbilaran, Bohol with strangers.  As part of our training, we are to serve four major hospital departments in a public hospital. We unfortunately couldn’t get into a public hospital in Cebu and so our school affiliated with the provincial hospital of Bohol. We already served the first two departments in the first half of the academic year and it has been such a good learning experience which is why we really looked forward to the last two major departments. But who would’ve thought that 2020 has so much for us.  We had several problems. It was a challenge right from the start since we had to fight for our beds. The first time we were in Bohol, there were only 40 of us staying in one house. The house had 5 bedrooms – 1 big room situated outside the main residence for the males – with a total of 45 beds. On our second stay, there were already 60 of us with the addition of the irregular students –...