The Little Things

Two things that people would always compliment me – my hair and skin.

Ever since I was young I’ve always received compliments about  how healthy and beautiful my hair is. People would also compliment me about my skin, saying it’s really white and smooth – like that of Koreans and babies.

Not to brag, but I could say that our genes are on the good-looking side. And I got real blessed to have the good qualities of both my mother and father, especially the hair. I got my father’s straight hair and my mom’s thick, strong hair – combining both I got straight, thick and strong hair. I don’t need to iron my hair to make it straight. And my hair’s straight-“ness” does not end there. It takes a lot of effort to curl my hair and if it does curl it only last for a short period of time and it goes straight again.

My mom did pay special attention to both mine and my little sister’s hair. I remember that up until high school, Mama would be the one to comb and style my hair before going to school. Mama would also apply virgin coconut oil on our hairs from time to time. And though I also had some lice issues before (ew, haha), it became a bonding time for me, Mama and my sister. While she picks out them out of our heads, we get to talk about a lot things regarding school and our friends. But my hair has no special regimen aside from my regular shampoo and hair conditioner.

For my skin, I’m not really sure because I’m not someone who could tell if a person’s skin is nice or not. I’m pretty sure the nice skin that I have is not from my father, so I guess it’s from my mom especially since my maternal grandmother is what we call very “mestiza”. I guess I’m on the “mestiza” side of the spectrum also. Or maybe because I’m white that people would say my skin is nice.

I do get pimples but not much which usually clear out and have not left any scars that are noticeable. I also don’t have any special regimen when it comes to my skin. I usually just use my bath soap to wash my face. I don’t even wash my face at night. And I do all-nighters frequently since being a med student requires a whole lot of studying and well, I binge watch a lot of Korean dramas. I’m also not fond of make-ups so I haven’t been applying anything on my face. My skin in general has all been low-maintenance and purely genetic.

Nowadays is a different story though.

The skin and hair that I might have taken for granted now needs more attention.

My skin is apparently very photo sensitive. Before, I would bask under the sun without sunblock or an umbrella. Now, I can’t leave the house nor stay under a bright light without applying sunblock and a moisturizer. And if I fail to do so, my butterfly rash would surface without skipping a beat. It would actually appear even without exposing myself to ultraviolet light. At times, the butterfly rash would appear like natural blush on but more often than not they actually appear quite disturbing. From time to time, I feel the need to apply make up just to even out my skin tone. I also need a moisturizer just so my skin wouldn’t flake out if the rash appears. And that’s just the effect of lupus. I take 3 types of medications, an anti-rheumatic drug, a corticosteroid and a calcium supplement. The corticosteroid has side effects and one of which is developing acne. From the low maintenance skin, now I use a facial soap for sensitive skin, I’d apply sunblock followed by a facial moisturizer and re-apply sunblock before finally stepping out if ever I have to. And then at night, I’d wash my face with a facial wash, apply moisturizer and then a sleeping mask.

As for my hair, I noticed having falling hair way before but it didn’t bother me because I was confident that I won’t go bald with the rate of hair fall I had. However, knowing alopecia is part of SLE activity I am quite disturbed. My hair is still thick and healthy looking but my hair fall is really alarming. I’d sweep a ball of hair every morning and another ball of hair while bathing. I actually think I already have bald spot. So now, from being not so particular with hair products I would request for an anti-hair-fall shampoo and conditioner.

There’s no doubt that I am now indeed high maintenance. And it is indeed tiring to consciously make a mental note and perform all those things that I am not used to. But lately, I’ve also noticed that I’ve been caring more of myself. I am not taking these little things for granted anymore and I think this is a good improvement. I’ve somehow accepted that I am indeed delicate and that I should love myself more. Aside from which, I’ve acquired new skills actually. I now know how to apply make up, though not over the top, but I can now do ordinary make ups for dates and likes.

It’s not all good and it’s not all too bad too, especially now that I’ve slowly accepted this part of myself.