Musings of a Butterfly

On April 26, during a random chat with my friends, I jokingly told them that I along with Arnita will be going to Davao. Unknown to them I was talking to someone who was from Davao at that time and was curious about his hometown (and of course pretty much interested in the said man). It was just a passing idea but in early July when I got word that I am going to start my residency on August 1 (yes, I was successfully accepted to train in Surgery), and when I found out Arnita has a 1 week leave, I thought “let’s get out of Cebu because who knows when the next opportunity will come”. It’s unfortunate that Shena and Dorlen could not join us, but our 1st international trip would definitely be with our complete group. So, after securing our parents’ permission, I booked our tickets 2 weeks prior and there’s no turning back.   It's been 2 years since my girls, and I gathered and 4 years since our last getaway. Supposedly, we were going to fly to Korea right after our graduation and befor...

Today, I went to church wearing an outfit that I thought would look cute on me – it was a denim knee-length skirt paired with a yellow button-down shirt. But when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I thought wrong. It did not look good on me. I looked like a little teapot – short and stout.   For 2 years now, I’ve been battling with Lupus, I have also been battling with my self-confidence getting consumed and trampled by my body image. People who know me for more than 5 years know how slim and petite I was. Since my elementary years, my BMI has always been classified as underweight. Through high school and college, I maintained a weight of 39 kilos. But I wasn’t fit. I didn’t have the number 11 figure for my abs, nor do I have an hourglass figure. My body, as some would describe was like that of a kid. I didn’t have prominent curves like most women do. But I wasn’t in the least bit insecure about my body, though I was never confident to wear bikinis and crop tops, I was fine w...

Last year, after passing the Physician’s Licensure Exam, I was encouraged by my family to start training immediately. I was reluctant because I wanted to slow down for a while. It felt like my whole life I was running. But I still inquired and asked if there was an opening for the training that I wanted to go into. Unfortunately, both hospitals that I wanted to train in have already been filled out. So, I guess it was a sign that it wasn’t the right time. I went into moonlighting and took it as a time for me to relax and calm down my lupus.   March this year as the vaccination became slow, I had the chance to message the medical director and ask about training and the requirements that I had to submit. I was told to submit my papers by June, so I had around 3 months to prepare. Slowly, I started preparing my papers. To my surprise, a month after I inquired (April) I was told to submit my papers the following month (May) and around that time I had just transferred to a different ass...