Musings of a Butterfly

  Last week, I decided to reconnect with my high school friends. It was Thursday, I was making a video of my trip with my med friends two years ago to Bohol. I was using my brother’s stronger computer where my files from long time ago were stored. And as I tried to store my new files to the folder I used to use, I happened to pass by my photos from way back high school and I had the urge to meet my friends. It has been 10 years since I’ve graduated high school. My friends would set up gatherings from time to time but since med school demands a bit more time and effort from me, I’ve been absent most of the time. I messaged my friends through our somewhat forgotten groupchat in messenger and asked whether they were available for the weekend. Unfortunately, more than half of them were not available but fortunate enough my friends Kenny and Chelle were available so we decided to meet up. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon but we still pushed through, I picked them up and we went together ...

Helianthus annuus better known as Sunflower – is my current favorite flower. I haven’t receive a sunflower nor have I seen actual one. I just saw them on pictures. And so I got the urge to grow them and see a real one. I was about to order for seeds online but fortunately enough my sister-in-law had bought seeds previously and offered them to me. I was very eager. I looked up the internet on how to grow them. I also bought garden soil and plastic pots. I found out that they usually grow in summer but I saw a friend posting about the sunflowers that she planted during the quarantine so I was feeling positive with the chance of the flowers growing. I started to plant. With the rainy season, I didn’t need to water them. On late afternoons, I would sit in our garden and talk to them. But two weeks have passed and I see nothing growing out of my pots, supposed to be a sprout would have been there already. I gave it another week. But still nothing. I planted another batch, this time followin...

My little brother, TJ, is a fourth grader currently having online-classes. He starts at 9 in the morning and ends at 3:30 PM, from Monday to Thursday. On Fridays, they have shortened period of class to give time for them to complete their activities that needs to submitted. Before the pandemic, TJ used to have a tutor to help him after school but it is currently not possible to do so. I, being the “ate” has been tasked by my parents to supervise him, though not thoroughly because I have my own tasks to do as an online-post graduate intern. At the start, I used to follow him up everyday so as to not clump everything up on Thursday night so that our family driver can send his things to school early Friday.  He’s a smart boy but TJ, being the little boy that he is has such short attention span and is very easily distracted which irritates me easily. So we end up arguing. And then our parents try to ease the tension. But, it pisses me off more. Middle Child vs. Youngest Being the middl...

Two things that people would always compliment me – my hair and skin. Ever since I was young I’ve always received compliments about  how healthy and beautiful my hair is. People would also compliment me about my skin, saying it’s really white and smooth – like that of Koreans and babies. Not to brag, but I could say that our genes are on the good-looking side. And I got real blessed to have the good qualities of both my mother and father, especially the hair. I got my father’s straight hair and my mom’s thick, strong hair – combining both I got straight, thick and strong hair. I don’t need to iron my hair to make it straight. And my hair’s straight-“ness” does not end there. It takes a lot of effort to curl my hair and if it does curl it only last for a short period of time and it goes straight again. My mom did pay special attention to both mine and my little sister’s hair. I remember that up until high school, Mama would be the one to comb and style my hair before going to school...

  Now, 10 months since I was diagnosed and 8 months since the pandemic broke out – I feel more at peace. I don’t feel too pressured studying for my upcoming board exam. I’m trying to be patient with myself as my body recovers and heals itself. I’m trying to be patient with the people around me, as they try also to understand and be patient with me. I’m trying to accept things as they are, including my illness. And these improvements wouldn’t be possible without prayers. One thing that this pandemic made a positive impact on my life is rebuilding my relationship with my God.   I grew up in a devout, Catholic family. However, at the beginning we weren’t like this actually. I could still remember back in my early years, maybe I was 6-7 years old, we would attend masses, but that’s all there is to our lives as Catholics. Our family wasn’t all peaceful and harmonious. We were in debt and my parents would quarrel every now and then. But a wake up call came upon us and my parents...

 Who am I? Rose, my second name which has been barely used. I am a  26 year old female, a post graduate intern with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus – I am a new “butterfly warrior” For 25 years, I haven’t been seriously sick. I was never hospitalized nor have I been absent from school or work due to a serious illness. Never been involved in a major accident whatsoever. I’ve had a good track record in school, be it academics or in conduct. A devout Catholic. Not so poverty-stricken, just average. To put simply, my life has been plain but blessed nonetheless. I have a family, I have my friends, I have my boyfriend, I have my dream within my reach. But then, apparently my body is going to betray me. My very own body of all things. Second half of 2019, 4 months into my last year in medical school – the hellish, clerkship -  I noticed the swelling of my right foot with no apparent cause that I could think of. But being the clumsy and uncoordinated person I am, I thought I probabl...