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Passenger Seat

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Early August, I started writing up a draft for a new blog entry. But I didn’t get to finish it because I felt like it was unreal – it wasn’t 100% what I truly felt. Today, I woke up from a good sleep, one which was just enough and was uninterrupted without the help of medications – and thought to myself, I think I am getting better.   2023 has been much of a roller coaster year, still on God’s list of strong, faithful warriors.   I was admitted twice this year, yes twice – January and September, both for methylprednisolone pulse treatment.  After I was admitted (the first time), I had to undergo a series of trips to the laboratory, to the hospital, and to the clinic, not as a doctor but as a patient.    Every month I had to stay in a hospital bed for hours as I received intravenous medications, and every single time I got to be pricked multiple times before an IV line was successfully inserted. But I also got to befriend different nurses, like Ms. Karina and Ms. Rose.    I also got to
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On-Going Battles

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 As 2022 ended, I was proud and happy about how far I reached and how I became stronger. I was planning to write a love letter kind of blog, disguised as if written for a certain someone special like a lover but is for myself. Admittedly, I had a rough end for 2021 and a start for 2022. But I pulled through 2022 and am now in 2023. What I didn’t know is that for 2023 I still am on God’s strong warriors' list.      As most of my friends, relatives, and readers already know, I’ve been diagnosed to have Systemic Lupus Erythematosus last 2020 and have been cautiously and vigilantly living with it for the past 3 years hoping I can put the disease to sleep. On most days I forget that I have the disease but on certain days she doesn’t fail to remind me that she exists – “she” because my mom would call it my “twin”. Despite the rough start of 2022, I managed to be where I want to be and start to realize my dreams and aspirations slowly – I started residency training in General Surgery in a
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Bad Knee and Bad Days

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A year ago, I took the physician’s licensure exam. I was planning to write a blog entry about how I conquered the exam and how I’ve been since then. But something unexpected happened last September 11, 2022, at exactly 10:47 AM. How did I know the exact time? Because I was due for an update on the status of our burn patient one floor down. As I got up and was heading for the wards my knee went jelly and I felt a shooting pain – my right knee got dislocated.   It wasn’t the first time this happened. Almost 2 years ago, my knee also got dislocated but I quickly recovered and was able to walk by myself. I was told that having not-so-normal anatomy of my foot predisposes me to knee dislocation, so I was taught exercises to strengthen my inner thigh muscles. I did the exercises for a couple of months until I started feeling normal and eventually got so busy that I completely forgot them. This time though, I fell, and the dislocation was worse.    I remembered being slow that morning and fee
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Best Choice Ever

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On April 26, during a random chat with my friends, I jokingly told them that I along with Arnita will be going to Davao. Unknown to them I was talking to someone who was from Davao at that time and was curious about his hometown (and of course pretty much interested in the said man). It was just a passing idea but in early July when I got word that I am going to start my residency on August 1 (yes, I was successfully accepted to train in Surgery), and when I found out Arnita has a 1 week leave, I thought “let’s get out of Cebu because who knows when the next opportunity will come”. It’s unfortunate that Shena and Dorlen could not join us, but our 1st international trip would definitely be with our complete group. So, after securing our parents’ permission, I booked our tickets 2 weeks prior and there’s no turning back.   It's been 2 years since my girls, and I gathered and 4 years since our last getaway. Supposedly, we were going to fly to Korea right after our graduation and befor
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Little Teapot

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Today, I went to church wearing an outfit that I thought would look cute on me – it was a denim knee-length skirt paired with a yellow button-down shirt. But when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I thought wrong. It did not look good on me. I looked like a little teapot – short and stout.   For 2 years now, I’ve been battling with Lupus, I have also been battling with my self-confidence getting consumed and trampled by my body image. People who know me for more than 5 years know how slim and petite I was. Since my elementary years, my BMI has always been classified as underweight. Through high school and college, I maintained a weight of 39 kilos. But I wasn’t fit. I didn’t have the number 11 figure for my abs, nor do I have an hourglass figure. My body, as some would describe was like that of a kid. I didn’t have prominent curves like most women do. But I wasn’t in the least bit insecure about my body, though I was never confident to wear bikinis and crop tops, I was fine with
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June 2022

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Last year, after passing the Physician’s Licensure Exam, I was encouraged by my family to start training immediately. I was reluctant because I wanted to slow down for a while. It felt like my whole life I was running. But I still inquired and asked if there was an opening for the training that I wanted to go into. Unfortunately, both hospitals that I wanted to train in have already been filled out. So, I guess it was a sign that it wasn’t the right time. I went into moonlighting and took it as a time for me to relax and calm down my lupus.   March this year as the vaccination became slow, I had the chance to message the medical director and ask about training and the requirements that I had to submit. I was told to submit my papers by June, so I had around 3 months to prepare. Slowly, I started preparing my papers. To my surprise, a month after I inquired (April) I was told to submit my papers the following month (May) and around that time I had just transferred to a different assignm
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Independence Day

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Today is June 12, 2022 – Independence Day for the Philippines, my beloved country. But I won’t be writing about the Philippines’ independence but rather about my independence.   As some probably already know I have started my training in the department that I have been in love with since my 3 rd  year in medical school. The plan to train was supposed to be at the end of this year. However, due to some circumstances, it has been moved to an earlier date. The said circumstance is my recent breakup. I know I’ve been going on and on about this for the 3 or 4 blog entries and I guess this will be the last one as I gain liberation from it.   Three months ago, I decided to let go of a love that I held dear. It wasn’t much of a tough decision to make because it was the one that I was left with. But it was hard to stand by. Before March 12, I tried to let go multiple times but there were also multiple moments when I’d relapse. There were nights when I’d stay wide awake until 3 or 4 in the morni
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